I remember during my first year on tour all my days off were spent at my parents’ house, doing pretty much nothing. Don’t get me wrong, doing nothing is very needed. But having been homeschooled, my life revolved around tennis. Growing up, I made all my friends through the sport. We trained with each other every day and grew up together, so I didn’t really feel like I was missing out on anything. It wasn’t until I took the extra step and turned pro that I saw just how one-dimensional my life was. I would come back from a trip looking forward to a small break only for me to not know what to do with it. All my friends were off at college and developing new lives. My social skills were non-existent because everything had been about tennis. It felt like I had been living in a bubble that suddenly burst and I was not as equipped to deal with life as I thought. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked up “what to do when bored” or “how to make friends”. Seriously, it’s embarrassing.
I would come back from my time off, and instead of feeling fresh and rejuvenated, I would be exhausted, like I had played just the day before. When my sports psychologist first mentioned that I should look into other pursuits I thought she was crazy. Why would I waste time doing something else when I could use it to focus more on my tennis? Wouldn’t that just slow me down and take away from what’s important? I thought that following other things would make me fall behind. I thought I was supposed to put in more time and effort, and setting my mind on another task would be the opposite of what I needed.
Over time, I’ve realized how important hobbies and other interests are in making me feel like a whole person. I still have big dreams and goals and I’ll always have to make sacrifices to achieve them. I know being extra involved in your career doesn’t sound like a bad thing and it’s not. But feeling like it’s all you have and tying your self-worth to it isn’t healthy. You might think that pursuing other things will take time away from your work. Technically, it does. However, stepping back also adds something very important: perspective. When things are going well it’s hard to want to change things. You feel the success and joy that much more because of all the work you put into it. But being so close also means you’ll feel the loss and hurt deeply as well. It’s normal and necessary to go through ups and downs, finding the balance is the challenge. Many people say that traveling for weeks on end by yourself is what makes this sport lonely. I agree, but what makes me feel the most alone is when I have nothing else to look forward to. Careers can come and go, and nothing lasts forever. So however uncertain things are, it’s important to find things you love that can constantly be there for you.
I made a list of easy things to do when I get bored that bring me joy (so you don’t have to embarrassingly look it up like me)
Paint night
Baking
Pottery class
Solo movie theatre date
Learn a TikTok dance
Friend playdate
Scenic hike/picnic
Cooking class
Escape room
And if you made it this far… here you go, exposing myself once again
I am the Pastor you met way back when you were about 14 0r 16. You were with your Mom and with a coach named OSCAR WEGNER i Encino. I talked to you about the pro tennis tour, which I was part of for two decades. Glad to see you made that step.
Well said, and great range of hobbies!