The Bandwagon

Are you getting on or hopping off?

Going through a rough patch is always difficult. I’m going through one right now and I’m still trying to find a way out. The letter I wrote myself has been read through many times and sadly the comeback is going excruciatingly slow. You know when you really really want something and it becomes the priority of all priorities in your mind? Like an obsession. The reason you get up in the morning and do what you do. But not in a healthy, inspiring, exciting sort of way. More like a manic, feral, decapitating kind.

No?

Just me?

Awesome.

Each challenging situation has its own unique obstacles. I think I do a good job of trying to learn more about myself and finding solutions. And it doesn’t matter that I’ve survived and gotten through every hurdle so far, they never get easier to deal with. Getting to the light at the end of the tunnel is always a journey of self-discovery. While that process is very individual, it shouldn’t be done alone.

Even though tennis is an individual sport, it takes a team to win a match. And building that team is a very personal process. You obviously want people who are highly qualified in their fields, but having a good dynamic is also crucial. Because tennis is a big part of my life, it’s important that I can be comfortable and vulnerable with those in my circle. That includes my close friends and family. Whether they know it or not, or like it or not, I consider them to be a part of my team.  So being able to trust and rely on my core group no matter what I’m going through is super important to me.

I have a story that my coach, Chris, has told me many times. A year into being on the pro tour, I began to falter with my game and confidence. As I fell in the rankings, some people I respected and looked up to suggested switching coaches, which I was very against. Chris had the chance to talk to Gil Reyes, coach of former world number one and multiple grand slam winner, Andre Agassi. In the middle of his career, Agassi became number one in the world for the first time. But shortly after reaching that achievement he started struggling. Gil told Chris, “When Agassi dropped to 140 in the world, we circled the wagons and realized that everyone had left. It was just him and me and we had to start from ground zero and build it back up.”

When things are going right, everything is easy breezy beautiful. People will always want to be around you when you’re on the come up. Everyone wants to be your friend and you feel like the most popular person in the world. But it’s only during the hardships that you know who truly cares about you. The worst thing when going through a tough time is feeling alone. Similar to tennis, life is like an individual sport. People may come and go, but the ones that stick by and support you are definitely worth keeping.